What's in my bag today...anxiety.

I have been putting off blogging for about a month now.  Lately I have been struggling with anxiety.  I couldn't quite put my finger on what was wrong and I finally figured out that it was anxiety. I haven't been trying my two new meals a week for a while.  I just felt that I didn't have the energy to even think about it. I have been cooking, but I've stayed with my tried and true recipes. And I've had a sense of being overwhelmed all the time.
 I have been walking through some health issues with my Mom and it's been weighing on me.  I'm a fixer and this is something that only God can fix.  Families are like a body, if one part of the body is hurting, the whole body feels it until it heals.  I am trying to let go of the fears that I have and trust that God is taking care of things.  I have not had issues with worry or fear or anxiety for a long time so it kind of caught me off guard. I feel a lot better since I decided to let it go, but there are times when it still gets to me.  I am going to try and keep writing even though it is hard for me right now.  I know that I will be back and be inspired if I just keep going.  I am so glad to even have this outlet and the support of all my friends out there.  I hope you guys can get something out of my experiences.  Life is hard, but it is a lot easier when you have people in your life that you can share your burdens with.  And most importantly when you have God in your life, you can get through anything big or small.  I know that I would be in a very different place right now if I did not have faith that God is real and that his son Jesus died for me.  It has made a profound difference in my life and it continues to shape me as a person.  Thank you for reading this, it means a lot to me.

What's in my bag today...home improvements.

So Spring has sprung and it is the season for projects.  This is the time of year when my husband gets lost in various out door undertakings.  This year he's fixated on the grass.  When I look at it, I see a nice yard, when he looks at it he sees a vast wasteland.  He talked to some guy who told him that the dirt needs to be flush with the driveway or else the driveway will crumble.  Now I'm not saying that it's not true, I just don't think that the driveway will disintegrate if we don't get the dirt done this year.  So that's his justification for bringing in a truckload of dirt and re seeding the grass.  This is one battle that he's going to win, because I just can't talk about grass or dirt anymore.  There's so many other things I'd rather do than spend money on dirt and grass, but once it's done, it's done. Next year we'll do what I want.
On the stove top, I've tried a few new things with some success.  The first is a favorite of my friend Stacey.  It's Rachael Ray's Lemon Spaghetti: http://www.rachaelray.com/recipe.php?recipe_id=1534.  I liked it but it was really lemony and my husband wasn't that into it.  I think I over juiced the lemons.  I know when I've watched Rachael Ray do it, she just squeezes the lemon over the bowl.  I used a hand juicer so I think I got more juice out of the lemons than by just squeezing them by hand.  I also didn't use a whole pound of pasta, which may have made a small difference.  I didn't feel like going into the basement to get my big pasta pot, so I used maybe 2/3's of the box.  So if I make this again, I will use the juice from one lemon.  I served this dish with chicken tenders grilled on the George Foreman grill.  Last night I made Mini Cheeseburger Salad with Yellow Mustard Vinaigrette, also a Rachael Ray recipe: http://www.rachaelray.com/recipe.php?recipe_id=2207 .  This was good, and I served it with fries.  The dressing was good, but a little strong, maybe I will cut down on the vinegar or mustard next time.  I also made something that I sorta used a recipe for, but mostly improvised.  I had some pork (boneless chops) and I saw a recipe that made a sauce out of salsa.  So I cooked the pork in a skillet ( I cut the pork into bite sized pieces).  In a small pot I heated the salsa mixed with a couple of table spoons of bbq sauce.  When the pork was done, I added the sauce and a can of black beans. I rinsed the beans first (it cuts down the sodium and gets rid of the extra starch).  Meanwhile I steamed some corn in the microwave.  I mixed the corn in when it was done.  It was really good, kind of a Southwest type dish.  You can serve it with sour cream.  I didn't take pictures this week because I thought I had lost my camera.  Fortunately I found it, but it was too late for my dinners to get their close ups.  Feel free to post any recipes that you've tried or wanted to try, I'm always looking for ideas these days.  And good luck with your own home improvement projects, hopefully you and your significant others can agree on what projects to tackle next!

What's in my bag today...Spring time?

It is finally starting to feel like Spring here in the North East.  Last week I began walking in the mornings.  My minimum temperature is 38 degrees.  Although, I forgot to check before I left today and I was pretty cold, it turns out it was 34 degrees!  I don't wear a coat because it gets too hot, but my face and hands were like ice.  I also discovered that one butt cheek is bigger than the other.  I know this because I get a wedgie only on one side and I'm hesitant to pick it while walking because I'm not sure if any of my neighbors might see me!  It's pretty irritating.  I also joined a gym and have felt really good lately.  I am still working on those stubborn baby pounds and the heat is on now that it's warming up.  I am determined to fit into my old Summer clothes.  I have so many different sizes of clothing for all the seasons.  I have boxes in the basement with these labels:  Pre baby jeans, early preggo jeans, maternity winter, maternity summer, post baby jeans, post post baby jeans, skinniest I ever was jeans.  It's crazy the changes our bodies weather.  Still we have the kids and keep trying to be the best version of ourselves we can, making allowances for the irreversible changes along the way.  That's not to say I've always had the best attitude about it, I'm just trying not to make a big deal out of it.  I've come to realize that having a bad attitude poisons everything around you and these days with young kids are the days to cherish.  I also don't want to pass on body image issues to my girls.  So I'm trying.
On the stove top, I've tried a few new things with pretty good results:  The meatloaf with cranberries was good.  There was only 1/4 cup of cranberries and it was just enough.  It didn't hold together too well, but I'm not sure why.  I cannot find a link online so here is the recipe:
Turkey Meatloaf with Dried Cranberries a Cook Yourself Thin recipe.
1/2 c dried cranberries
1 slice whole wheat bread
1/3 c skim milk
1 lb ground turkey (I used ground venison)
1 small onion, finely chopped
1 carrot, peeled and finely chopped
1/2 cup chopped fresh flat leaf parsley (I used it from the tube mentioned below)
1 large egg white
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
2 Tbs olive oil
2 Tbs Dijon mustard
1. Preheat oven to 400. 
2. Place 1/4 cup of cranberries in a bowl of hot water. Soak for about 10 min, until softened.
3. Grind bread in a food processor to fine crumbs and transfer to a large bowl.  Pour the milk over it and let soften for 1 minute.  Add the turkey, onion, carrot, parsley, egg white, salt, pepper, 1tbs oil and the remaining 1/4c cranberries. Mix with your hands until everything is combined. 
4. Transfer the mixture to a loaf pan or regular baking sheet lined with aluminum foil.
5. Drain the softened cranberries and place in the food processor along with the mustard. Process until smooth and spread over the meatloaf. ( I did not do this.  Instead I put the mustard in the meatloaf.)
6. Bake for about an hour or until the meat is 170 degrees.

I also did a sweet potato gratin, which was good, but the flour that I sprinkled in between each layer kind of formed a weird white sauce that was a little funny looking but tasted fine.  I would make it again, but it did take over an hour to cook.  I also found a product that I wanted to share with you.  It is herbs in a tube by Gourmet Garden. I bought the parsley, but they also had basil, cilantro and a few others. They are concentrated so you only need a couple of TBS to equal half a cup fresh.  It's a great thing to have on hand because it lasts a lot longer than the fresh.  Tonight I made a stir fry and I made the sauce myself.  It was pretty easy and quick and I had all the ingredients,(there were no fancy Asian ingredients). http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/stir-fry-your-way-50400000110940  Tomorrow I am trying a lemon pasta dish. 

Well I hope you all are enjoying my adventures.  Let me know if you try any of the recipes.

What's in my bag today...blessings.

This past weekend I had the opportunity to go away for a night.  It was great!  No husband or kids counting on me, just time for myself.  It was called a Girlfriends Getaway, and it lived up to the name.  It was a retreat through my church.  We had a good time and were reminded that we are Princesses/Warriors in the kingdom of God.  It was really refreshing to hear the stories of ladies that I know from church.  I had no idea about some of the things they have walked through or are going through now.  It's very easy in life to feel that you are all alone, even when you are surrounded by people who are also going through a tough time.  I applaud my friends for their courage in sharing some hard things with all of us. 

I was driving home from Target today and I was just hit with a wave of gratitude.  I have so many things to be thankful for.  I am blessed beyond what I had ever hoped for my life.  Gods kindness/mercy/grace/love for me, still surprises me.  I am convicted that I do not love Him as He loves me and I hope that each day I can grow to love Him more.  I have to thank Him publicly, a shout out if you will.  It is because I have Him in my life that I am here today.  There are so many different bad turns my life could have taken, but didn't because I trusted in God to lead the way. 

On the dinner table front, I am still trying new things.  Last week I didn't plan that well, but I did try one new dish that I really liked.  I had some turkey sausage and I wasn't sure what I was going to do with it.  I had resigned myself to just sauteing them and making a starch and veggie, when I stumbled on a recipe.  I took out some Stove Top (gasp)for a side and there was a sausage bake recipe on the back.  It was super easy and pretty quick.  If you don't want to use Stove Top, you could always make your own croutons or buy the plain stuffing mix at the store.  First you add hot water to the stuffing in a baking dish and set aside.  Then sautee the sausage until mostly cooked, then add peppers(I used diced frozen peppers), and onion (also diced frozen), and frozen spinach and cook until tender.  Pour this mixture over the stuffing and then pour a can of diced tomato on top.  I then sprinkled with Parmesan cheese and baked in a 400 degree oven for about 25 minutes.  I didn't use any seasonings because the stuffing was seasoned (Pork).

Last night I made a Stromboli. First you take the dough out of the fridge a couple hours ahead of time and let it get to room temp.  It's much easier to work with.   Then I cooked a box of frozen chopped broccoli. While that was cooking I chopped up some chicken that I had cooked the night before.  When it was done I mixed it (drain the water if there's any in the pot) with the chicken and a few tbs of pesto (store bought in a jar).  I then spooned it onto the dough I had rolled out.  Lastly I sprinkled cheddar cheese on top (you can also mix it throughout if you want).  I folded over the dough on each side and the ends and cooked it in a 450 degree oven for 15 minutes.  You want to watch it to make sure the outside doesn't burn or get too brown.  We all loved it!

Later this week I'm going to try a meat loaf with dried cranberries.  I've always been pretty strict about keeping fruit out of my savory dishes, but I gotta get out of my comfort zone sometime.  I may not use as many cranberries as they recommend, just in case we don't like it we can pick them out!  Also in the line up is a Mexican macaroni and cheese.  I'll keep you posted!







What's in my bag today...hash browns??

So last Friday, I finally made the asparagus and goat cheese frittata.  http://search.allyou.com/ay-results.html?Ntt=asparagus+and+goat+cheese+frittata  It came pretty good, but I think I cooked it a little too long on the stove top and not quite enough in the broiler.  So that one will go into the roster, especially when we're having eggs because it's fancier than scrambled!  I decided to do hash browns with it as a side dish totally forgetting that I've tried hash browns before...

As you can see they turned into a gooey gray mess!!  We even googled hash browns during the cooking process and I couldn't figure out what I had done wrong (and yes we did eat them)! They're just shredded potato, who knew it could be so complicated! I also tried a couple of quick dishes (no recipe, just threw together things I already had).

I had a jar of light Alfredo sauce, and some frozen shrimp, so I tossed them with pasta and broccoli.

This was baked chicken breast, potatoes, and roasted tomatoes.  I brushed the chicken with Grey Poupon, and then dipped them in the bread crumbs.  It gives it a subtle flavor without adding extra fat. 

So please if you have any suggestions or tips regarding my hash browns leave a comment.  This week I didn't plan ahead because I did my shopping at BJ's.  I'm trying to use things I already have, I'll let you know how it goes...

What's in my bag today...pictures

Ever since I got my first camera I've been really into pictures.  It was such a big deal to me, to drop off that roll of film and wait three or four days for the film to be developed.  I remember going into the store a couple of times to see if they were ready yet.  There was an anticipation as I opened the envelope to see the pictures.  Would they be really great?  Would there be weird fuzzy ones?  I always ordered doubles and it was pretty disappointing when you had a bunch of crappy photo's and their doubles.  Now it's different, but there was a similar excitement when I got my first digital camera.  My sisters and I all love to take pictures, and I would guess between us all we have taken 40,000 photos.  We've probably over photographed ourselves.  The numbers really jumped when I had my first daughter, and now there are two more little faces to snap(including my niece).  I hope that one day my old self and my old husband and grown children will enjoy the photographic legacy that I am building.

Since having my kids I have entered a whole different world of photography, the portrait studio.  It strikes terror into the hearts of moms everywhere.  There is almost nothing that can take you down like bringing your kids to get their pictures taken.  There is an enormous amount of pressure to get that one perfect shot of your little ones.  I have found myself at JcPenneys, sweating, mentally cursing, begging and bribing my child, for that one little smile.  Now I have two kids and I have not done their pictures together yet.  I am dreading it!  I'm waiting until my little one can at least sit up on her own, because there is no way my three year old can sit still and hold her.  I want the classic record of my two babies in their matching dresses so bad I can taste it, but I know the timing has to be perfect.  There is almost a science to it.  I have to go exactly when "the stars are aligned".  For example, it has to be either before my older one naps, and after my younger one has been fed, but before she gets tired.  They both have to have baths the night before, they have to be dressed at the studio, so their dresses aren't all wrinkled.  The same for the hair, it has to be fixed at the studio.  It's a nerve wracking ordeal. BUT, to me it's all worth it when you hand out those little photos to your friends and family and hear all the ooh's and ahh's.  When I look at the framed photo's on the book shelf I can forget all the trauma and just revel in the cuteness.  For some moms it's not worth it and they don't even bother, but I'll never stop going unless I have a psychotic break during a session.  Which is plausible.  One day I'll attempt the family portrait, and bring my husband in on the torture!!!  Ha, Ha, can't wait!

As for my dinner experiment, I've been doing well.  I did make the Manhattan clam chowder, but unfortunately my husband would not eat it.  He said it smelled "fishy" (duh).  He has a thing about the smell of fish.  He doesn't like me to cook it, but I really didn't think this soup would have the same affect.  I mean, he eats regular clam chowder!  So I told him to make himself a Hot Pocket, and I've been eating the soup for lunch all week.  I have to say it's really good.  I threw in a handful of baby scallops too.  Next up is the asparagus and goat cheese frittata, I'll let you know how it goes...
http://www.allyou.com/food/one-list-five-meals/cheap-family-meals-00411000071237/page3.html

If you have any portrait studio stories please leave a comment and share them.  Also if you've been inspired to try some new recipes yourself, let us know how it went.  I need to know that I'm not the only one out there having these experiences!

What's in my bag today...my new laptop!!

I am so excited, to be typing this from my couch!  We've been talking about getting a new computer for a couple of years now.  We've had our Dell desktop for about 7 years.  It still works okay, but it was time for some new technology.  Plus the baby is now in the office, so when she's napping, I can't be on the computer.  I set up a little area in my kitchen at the bar and I got a stool.  I love it.  I have been trying to drill it into Abby's head that she cannot touch it.  So far she's been good, but I still watch her like a hawk.

So I did try a few new meals this week.  The first was a gyro.  I just marinated the meat in Worcestershire sauce, Montreal seasoning, olive oil, and vinegar.  Then I grilled it on the Foreman grill.  The sauce I made the night before because it needs to set.  It was a tzatziki sauce with yogurt, sour cream, cucumber, and some seasoning.  http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Easy-Greek-Yogurt-Cucumber-Sauce/Detail.aspx?src=etaf  Then we just put the meat in the pitas and poured on the sauce.  I made store bought fries and veggies for a side.  The next meal I tried was Rachael Ray's orange cashew chicken:http://www.rachaelrayshow.com/food/recipes/orange-cashew-chicken-with-broccoli/.  This was really good, the only thing I would do different was add a little more cornstarch to the sauce to make it thicker, and I didn't use red peppers because they bother me.  This coming week, I plan to try a Manhattan clam chowder, and an asparagus and egg frittata.

The last thing in my bag is about being a Mommy.  My oldest is a three year old.  It seems like every day since she turned 3 (39 days, 16 hours, 27 minutes, and 31seconds), she's been a complete mess for all or at least part of the day.  I've come to realize that being a parent gets harder with each passing year and stage of childhood.  There are some days that I just want to put my head through a wall!  But I've also learned that the only way through it other than leaning on God, is to appreciate and savor those really sweet and joyful moments in between the pandemonium.  I try and stop what I'm doing and just kiss my daughters cheek or laugh with her or just sit and hold her.  Sometimes I'm barely hanging by a thread and she says or does something that just stops my heart with surprise.  I guess that's part of the miracle of being a parent and watching this child that is a part of you, grow and learn.  This weekend was my niece's first birthday and it made me think of my daughter's first birthday.  It really does go fast.  It's so neat to see my youngest sister as a mom.  She's doing such a good job.  She jumped into motherhood head first and has not looked back.  My niece is a lucky little girl, she also has a wonderful daddy who thinks the world of her.
 I hope you all have a great week.  I'm going to try the Manhattan clam chowder tonight, so I'll let you know how it goes.  My husband isn't sure that it's actually a meal, but I'll give him some bread  and I think I'm going to add shrimp to it as well.  So we'll see how it goes....